Most of us expect our parents to die before we do, we may not say it, but we think it. This expectation doesn't make the event any easier. Whether you are 6, 16 or 60 when your mother dies, it's a difficult thing to deal with. A mother is the person who is always supposed to be there when you need her. For her to suddenly not be there anymore is quite an adjustment to make. I think it is especially difficult for a woman to deal with that kind of loss.

Although it's been 6 years since she lost her 13-month battle with Cancer, I still feel the pain of losing her like it was only yesterday.

I miss her laugh, her jokes, her uncanny sense of humour, the little things that she said and did that always made us laugh, like not being able to say the word "crispy" instead she would always say " CRIPSY" and no matter how had she tried she could never get it right. I miss the love that mothered me, comforted me, encouraged me, directed me, reassured me and protected me. Thank goodness, I have since learnt that that love did not come from her body, but from deep within her soul because this is the love that I carry with me everyday. I still do miss her presence although I know that she is still with me in more ways than one. And will continue to be there to guide me. I often think of how great it would be for my daughters to have had her in their lives, how great a role her influence would have had in their upbringing and that saddens me.

She was more than just a mother, she was a true friend. A true treasure to be cherished. A true gift from God above. Mom gave 110% and was always there for us. She was a religious and intuitive person whose strength and good nature was admired and respected by all.. She was an excellent listener. I can remember all of my friends and the friends of my siblings coming to her for advice or just to vent out their worries, frustrations etc. When she walked into a room, you noticed; she had a great deal of charisma and style. She was the sort of person who wound up being in charge of anything with which she got involved, whether it was a PTA event or Church Rally, without even volunteering she would be "head organiser."
I am comforted by the fact that I know that she knew without a doubt how much I loved her. Our relationship had grown so much during the 5 years before she was diagnosed. I am thankful for those years although at the time I didn't think that this was all we had.

I live my life today, with the knowledge of all she taught me. If I am able to give to my children what she has given me, then I will be happy.
" I MISS YOU Mama!"

I say to all the readers who still have their mothers with them, PLEASE, PLEASE make the most of your time together. You just never know......

Here’s a poem that has helped me though:

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond's gift of snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the autumn's gentle rain
When you awaken in the morning's
hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight

I am the soft stars that shine
at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry

I am not there
I did not die.